1. I think that this is gender-based bullying. The manager treats Paula differently to her male colleagues and regularly intimidates and verbally abuses her. This behaviour is unacceptable.
2. I think that Paula feels uncomfortable around the customers who comment on her appearance and proposition her. However, she is trying to remain polite and professional. I think that she feels intimidated by her manager who constantly demeans her in front of others.
3. She is probably questioning why she is being treated in this manner. She may question whether she deserves to be treated like this or whether she is to blame. She is probably wondering how to deal with this negative attention and weighing up what will happen if she challenges her manager’s behaviour.
4. I think that Paula has several options:
   1. She could speak to the manager and explain that he is making her feel uncomfortable. She could use legislation such as The Equality Act to point out how her rights are being breached. She could ask the manager to change his behaviour and explain that she will be reporting him if he continues to bully her.
   2. She could report the manager.
   3. She could seek employment elsewhere (as a final resort).

I think that option a or b would work best. It’s important that the manager is called out on his behaviour and that he understands that it’s unacceptable.

5.I would advise Paula to keep detailed records of all of the bullying incidents. I would advise her to write a letter / email to the manager’s boss clearly depicting how she has been treated unfairly and requesting that action is taken.

1. I think that this is GBV as Maria’s swollen face is evidence that a violent act took place.
2. I think that Maria may be feeling embarrassed that I overheard the row but she may be feeling anxious that I will ask her about it. I think that she was scared while the row was going on. She was probably scared for herself but also for her children.
3. She is probably saying that she knows it is wrong and that she should report this incident but she may also fear for her safety in doing so. If this was the first time that a violent incident took place in her home, she may make excuses and convince herself that it won’t happen again.
4. Maria has several options:
   1. She could report the incident to the guards.
   2. She could seek advice from a group such as Women’s Aid.
   3. She could seek help from a relative or close friend.

I think that all of the above could be helpful but reporting the incident to the guards would probably be the best option.

5.I would advise Maria to get support from a relative or close friend while she weighs up her options. Many women are afraid to report such incidents to the guards as they fear for their safety and the safety of their children. I think that a family member could convince Maria to report her husband’s abuse.

• What do you think is going on here? Is it bullying? Gender-based bullying? GBV?  Why do you think that?

Yes I think Paula's situation is GBV the manager only does it to her and none of the male workers.

I would think she feels ashamed and does not know what to do, she probably freezes.

She is probably telling herself to pretend it is not happening and not to make a fuss as she needs the work.

I could tell her to look for another job but then it might happen again and it does not give her the skills she needs. I think she needs to consult any work policies regarding bullying or conflict resolution that are available and follow them and if there are none, consult the government's help on these situations in the workplace.

For Maria's friend:

This is clearly GBV due to the violent arguments witnessed on a couple of occasions and the evidence of a wound on her face.

I would imagine Maria feels sick and worried about the whole thing and might be confused to know which avenue to follow. She is probably unsure about saying anything to her friend as well.

I think that Maria needs to directly ask her friend if she is ok and tell her she is worried for her. She needs to give her the women's aid free phone number and tell her that she is worried about her. The friend needs to be careful and keep this private from the friend's husband as they do not want the husband to find out about any of this. I read that if a person is experiencing GBV at home and if the violent partner finds out their partner is trying to leave or get help it can lead to more violence and in some cases, murder.

I think overall the safest and most sensible thing to do for everyone is to seek advice from womens aid.

1. It is definitely gender-based bullying from the customers and colleagues and I think you could classify her manager's behaviour as GBV as she feels physically uncomfortable around the him and his behaviour is specifically aimed at her, the only woman working there. He is physically and emotionally rough in his behaviour around her and she is singled out for her gender. 
2. I think she feels frightened as it could escalate at any stage. I think she probably feels powerless as there is a power imbalance and she needs the job so she might feel she doesn't have many choices. She could feel self-conscious and humiliated as it is based on her gender and her colleagues are all men and do not defend her and are dismissive of her experiences. I would say she feels very uncomfortable when she is in work.  
3. I would say she she is asking herself what her options are. I'd say she is weighing up the pros and cons of going to the owner. 
4. As her friend, how many ways can you think of helping Paula? Which one(s) do you think will help best? As her friend you could advise her to talk to the owner as the the behaviour is unacceptable and she has the right to not be treated like that in her workplace. Or she could  talk to the manager directly and tell him how it is making her feel. She could talk to one of her colleagues and let him know how she is feeling and see if might find an ally who could help to defend her from the customers and manager or go with her while she talks to the manager. She could go to her union, seek legal advice, look up the company's policies on bullying. 
5. I would advise her to get the company's anti-bullying policies and when armed with the policies I would advise her to document every incident and put it in writing to the manager. Both the manager's behaviour and how it makes her feel and the way the customers are allowed to treat her. 

1. I think it is GBV due to the raised voices, shouting, swollen cheek and Maria's behaviour to try hide her face.  
2. She could be feeling frightened that her neighbour has suspicions in case the neighbour asks her about it or goes to the authorities. She could be feeling embarrassed that neighbour heard the fight and knows her 'private business'. While the row was happening she may have been afraid for hers and her own safety. 
3. I would say she is weighing up her options, decided if she should report her husband, confide in her neighbour or somebody else. I would say she is worried about the safety and impact on her children. 
4. Her neighbour might invite her over and tell her she overheard the row and can see her swollen face and offer her support and give her the numbers of local domestic violence services. She could report the incident to the authorities. She could seek advice from a domestic violence service on the best course of action. 
5. If she asked my advice I would urge her to contact a domestic violence service. There is fantastic help and advice available for people. I would let her know I am there for her and can support her, she could make the call from the privacy of my home. I would advise her to contact the police too as it is important the incident is recorded and her safety and that of her children is ensured. 

Scenario 1

1. Yes, I think it is GBV - the fact that the men in the workplace are not experiencing what she is is evidence of this.

2. I imagine Paula feels very small, vulnerable and physically sick when this happens. 

3. She is probably saying to herself to keep a brave face, ignore the man, countdown until her shift ends. She is probably convincing herself that staying in the job and 'putting up with it' is better than having no job.

4. I would assure her that she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. 

5. I would probably advise her to try look for another job if she can, if not I would advise to look at work documents in relation to bullying in the workplace - she should get advice and help in this area.

Scenario 2

1. It probably is GBV, however it is not entirely clear, they may have a physically violent relationship, there is nothing to say that they aren't both violent towards each other? His face may also be swollen? I know that is controversial to say here but you just don't know what goes on behind closed doors.

2. I imagine she feels embarrassed that her neighbours heard the row. If she was hit in the face, she probably felt scared during the row.

3. She is probably just hoping the children don't understand or see/hear the row. Also, shes probably hoping the neighbours don't hear them. She is hoping it will be over soon, also.

4. I think it is an extremely sensitive issue and getting involved is so tricky. I would ask if she is ok and just reassure her that you are next door and 'around' if she ever needs to talk or wants help/support. I think her knowing that you are there for her and care is important.

5. I would probably just remind her (assuming she knows) that no matter what is happening physical violence is just not normal, accepted or something that should ever happen in any relationship. I would just offer her support, not sure I would give advice, it would depend.

I think it is bullying - Gender-based bullying.  Paula's manager treats her differently from her male colleagues and treats her roughly.

I think she is afraid that the strained relationship between her and her manager could develop into a more violent relationship and that he could at any stage begin to push her about and 'rough her up'  i also think she finds herself 'between a rock and a hard place' as she needs the money and is terrified that if she complains she will lose her job.

Paula needs to get a listening ear from one of her co-workers who will be willing to support her (both mentally and verbally) when she goes to talk to her manager. She needs to be familiar with the company code of behaviour and the sanctions that are in it.  She needs to document instances of bullying and violence and then with the support of her colleague(s) she needs to talk to her manager in a very level and even tone and categorically explain that his behaviour is not acceptable to her or in line with company policy. She needs then to explain that if it doesn't stop she will escalate the matter with the owners.

Paula is definitely being bullied by her manager and at least some of her co-workers. They may be some bystanders who  want / don't want to get involved. I'd say the manager is guilt of GBV because of the repeated ongoing psychological and physical interactions between himself and her. There is gender bullying too from some of the customers, albeit out of ignorance / drink / other. That is not acceptable either. She appears to be suffering and she is the only female on the staff. The male staff members do not appear to be bullying her. Do they understand that she is being bullied? Do they realise they are being bystanders? Are they blind to the behaviours of the manager? Very unlikely.

Paula is feeling vulnerable, embarassed, anxious, worried, frightened, in danger of losing her job if she speaks out. It is night time. How does she get home? Does she leave the restaurant alone? She knows she needs to act and that everything going on around her is making her feel unhappy and uncomfortable. She knows she is being bullied (GBV) by her manager as he moves close to her, grabbing the food bags and so forth. 

Helping Paula is essential.

Can I help her organise a paper trail of complaint to the manager about what she is experiencing?

Can I assure her of her rights?

Can I accompany her to a meeting with her manager and keep copious notes?

Does she have a Union who can offer advice?

Can I go and meet her after her shift?

I would ask her for any details she was willing to share with me so as to be informed. I would assure her that she has to act. She has to stand up to the manager, and demand that she is respected in the workplace, by customers and by colleagues, including him. I would ask her to put her concerns in writing to the owner of the company, asking for replies in writing. I would support her if she can arrange a meeting with her manager's boss, accompanying her or advising her to have another friend/ family member with her. 

______________ 

Maria appears to be the victim of GBV; likely psychological, physical and maybe physical. indeed, the children are suffering too. Maria's husband appears to have the power over her. Is it because of the children? Is it because she has always put up with it and 'needs him'? Is she afraid of him, what he might do to her, to the children? Is the violence escalating? Does she believe, does he make her feel it's all her fault? Do they make up afterwards, and she feels she loves him so much?

Is Maria embarassed? Does she know I heard the row, that I see the bruise? Does she think she loves her husband? Is she afraid I might ring the authorities and that her husband might be arrested, that the children might be questioned, that I might make matters worse for her? Would she prefer if I pretended I thought their marriage was rosy? Is she afraid the children told the whole story when they came over to my house? 

I would say she was scared stiff when the shouting and violence was going on, scared for herself and especially for her children, scared of the psychological damage that it's all doing to the children, afraid they might tell people and the embarrassment that could come with that? What would the neighbours say? The other parents in school or the teachers if they found out...

I believe reporting the dangerous behaviour (which will likely not stop, or could escalate) to a trusted professional e.g doctor, guard is essential. Women's Aid or other similar organisation would also help. Telling family, which wouldn't necessarily be easy would be wise. Leaving with the children, and going to a safe house, e.g. sibling may be wise.

She needs professional advice. 

1. I think that this is gender-based bullying. The manager treats Paula differently to her male colleagues and regularly intimidates and verbally abuses her.
2. I think that Paula feels uncomfortable around the customers who comment on her appearance and proposition her. However, she is trying to remain polite and professional. I think that she feels intimidated by her manager who constantly demeans her in front of others.
3. Paula is undoubtedly telling herself to pull herself together and just get over because she needs the money.
4. She could speak to the manager and explain that he is making her feel uncomfortable. She can not let it continue for her sake and that of other future employees. She can consult work documents regarding bullying if any exist in the establishment.

1. I would assume  it is GBV due to the raised voices, shouting, swollen cheek and Maria trying to hide her face. 
2. I think that Maria is probably feeling embarrassed that I overheard the row and anxious that I will probe her about it. I think that she was undoubtedly scared while the row was going on. She was probably scared for herself but also for her children.
3. Maria needs professional help to know she’s not at fault and to help her and her children. If she could be given the number of professional services from her neighbour that would assist her greatly.

1. What do you think is going on here? Is it bullying? Gender-based bullying? GBV?  Why do you think that?

I think it is gender based bullying in this situation. Paula's manager only seems to be picking on her and not her male colleagues. He seems to be making an example of her. She is also being bullied by the customers and noone seems to be standing up for her. It seems a very lonely and isolating place of work with Paula being the only female. 

2. Put yourself in Paula’s shoes: how do you think she is feeling when these incidents  occur?

I think she is feeling frightened, uncomfortable and anxious. When the manager starts bullying her infront of others she may also feel embarrassed. She also may be worried about how the relationship between them may escalate into GBV. She is also feeling confused and sad as she isn't happy or safe in her place of work but yet she needs the money. 

3. What do you think she is saying to herself?

I think she keeps reminding herself about the money. She needs the job she thinks. I also feel she may be questioning why is it happening to her. 

4. As her friend, how many ways can you think of helping Paula? Which one(s) do you think will help best?

As her friend, I would tell her money is not worth the cost of her safety and happiness. I would encourage her to keep a record of all the incidents, be familiar with the code of behavior policy and report the manager for GBB or if she doesn't feel comfortable doing that encourage to leave her job and support her until she finds somewhere where she feels safe and content. 

5. If you were giving advice to Paula, what might you say? 

I would tell her that money is not worth her happiness in life. 

Scenario 1:

1. I think this is definitely bullying but it is difficult to know if it is definitely gender-based bullying. I believe she is experiencing gender-based bullying from customers as their comments are very clearly to do with her gender. With regards to her manager, it appears to be gender-based bullying because none of the other male colleagues are being treated like that. However, whether it is gender-based or not, it is still bullying which is wrong. 

2. I would say Paula is feeling very isolated. She needs someone to help her stand up for herself. If her boss is treating her unfairly, it is unfair to expect her to stand up to someone that she relies on for money. I am sure she is doubting herself and her abilities. I would also say she is questioning her capabilities to work in such an environment-a feeling of not being good enough.

3. Offer advice. Help her word a letter/e-mail to the store owner. Go into the shop with her to confront the manager. I feel the advice and the letter/e-mail options would help best. 

4. I would offer her advice. I feel Paula would benefit more from being built up with confidence and guidance. I would suggest she go to the store owner and explain the events as they are happening. Bullying is taking place by customers and by the manager. If the manager has an issue with the way she works, he is not being an effective manager and training her with respect. This would need to be sorted by the owner. If she gets nowhere with the owner, I would advise her to find work elsewhere. 

Scenario 2:

1. Gender-based violence could be possibly going on here. There are raised voices (sign of conflict) and her face is swollen from a possible physical conflict. 

2. I would probably feel embarrassed and nervous if I thought someone may have overheard the row. If she is keeping to herself, she clearly does not want to broadcast it. She may be feeling very lonely and small. When the row was going on, she may have felt scared and frustrated and small. 

3. I would say she is debating whether or not to tell her neighbour or someone at all. She may be thinking about what is best for the children-whether to take them away from the father or to deal with the conflict for their sake. 

4. I would offer her to come in for a cup of tea or for a walk when their children are playing some day. I would raise my concerns and tell her that there is no pressure to talk but if she needs to at any stage of the day or night, that I would be there to help. I could also ring the Gardaí to report what I have heard and seen. I could go to the house and try to break up the argument. 

I think the offering her a safe space to talk is the best help I could offer her. 

4. If I was offering her advice, I would say that if anyone is hurting her in any way, she does not deserve it. To go to the Gardaí and to bring herself and her children somewhere they all feel safe and happy. 

What do you think is going on here? Is it bullying? Gender-based bullying? GBV?  Why do you think that?

I believe that Paula is being treated differently by her manager because of her gender! This is definitely fits the criteria for gender-based bullying and given the physical nature of the incidents that have occurred there is the potential that it is GBV. 

Put yourself in Paula’s shoes: how do you think she is feeling when these incidents  occur?

I think Paula feels vulnerable and isolated. I think that she feels helpless as she needs to keep this job and feels that complaining about the manager would only 'rock the boat'. 

What do you think she is saying to herself?

I think she might be quite lost and questioning how she could improve the situation or what the cost of speaking up might be! 

As her friend, how many ways can you think of helping Paula? Which one(s) do you think will help best?

I would advise Paula to document the incidents as regularly as she can so that if she decides to take action she has a document of logged incidents with dates and times that could be supported, if the need arose. I would suggest approaching a trade union about the issue so that she had support.

If you were giving advice to Paula, what might you say? 

I would remind Paula that it is not her fault and that she should feel safe in her workplace. I would place emphasis on the fact that this situation is not acceptable and that she should not be expected to tolerate it. I would also recommend some kind of counselling or therapy so that Paula could talk to a professional in confidence so that she has support!

____________________________________________________________________________

What do you think is going on here? Is it bullying? Gender-based bullying? GBV? Why do you think that?

This is a definite case of GBV. Although I have not 'seen' any violence take place I have certainly witnessed the aftermath. Both Maria and the children are suffering psychologically from the abuse that is taking place within the home. 

Put yourself in Maria’s shoes: how do you think she is feeling knowing that you might have overheard the row? How do you think she felt while the row was going on?

I would imagine that Maria is feeling rather helpless and is fearful or what will happen next. If she is aware that I have overheard the row then I think she might be worried that I could speak to her partner and further aggravate the situation!

What do you think she is saying to herself?

I think she is questioning the safety of her children and what effects all of this is having on them! 

As her neighbour, how many ways can you think of helping Maria? Which one(s) do you think will help best?

I could advise her to contact a professional support service. I could offer to go with her to get support and ensure that she has a friend with her to support her in taking a huge step to stop what has been happening to her! I could ensure she knows that I will be there for her (day or night) if she needs me and that she and her children are always welcome in our home. 

I think offering to go with her to get professional support is the best option as it will be the first step is preventing anything further from happening.  

If you were giving advice to Maria (assuming she might ask you), what might you say?

I would advise her to contact a professional support service and also involve the police. I say that she does not have to endure this treatment any longer. I would say that I am there to support her and that by taking this important step she would be ensuring her safety and that of her children! 

Scenario 1:

Bullying yes, gender based bullying - yes. There is a power imbalance, the behaviour is repeated and intentional. It is only directed at the female in the work place and not at the male co-workers. I think Paula feels annoyed at the attention from customers, afraid and anxious at the treatment by her boss. She may also feel unfairly treated, disrecpected, victimised and ignored by her co-workers. I would imagine she is telling herself to just get on with it as she needs the job. As a friend I would listen and be there for Paula. I would help her to research her options and to access support agencies who could help her.

Scenario 2:

Bullying -yes, GBV - yes, it appears to be so although it does not mention if the neighbour is aware of similiar incidents before. It is physical in nature, there is a power imbalance. Maria would feel scared and anxious for her children and for herself. She would also be afraid of others finding out based in reaction when she met her neighbour. As a neighbour I can be there for Maria, provide support , keep communication channels open so she can confide when ready, look after the children. Provide advice on support agencies/gardai who can go through her options with her

1. What do you think is going on here? Is it bullying? Gender-based bullying? GBV?  Why do you think that?

I think it's GBB as it states that Paula is the only female working there and her manager doesn't treat any other male employee like he is her. 

1. Put yourself in Paula’s shoes: how do you think she is feeling when these incidents  occur?

I think she feels very 'cornered' as she feels she has no options as she really needs the job and the money. 

1. What do you think she is saying to herself?

She is most likely trying to convince herself that it's ok and she will just suck it up and do what she needs to do for the money.  She also must feel quite down about this and making her feel sad. 

1. As her friend, how many ways can you think of helping Paula? Which one(s) do you think will help best?

Let her talk about how she is feeling, try and listen to exactly what's going on. If she is part of union, talk to them. Speak to college counsellors, adivse her to write down everything that's happening and keep a journal of any incidents.  She can use this as evidance when she goes to the owner. 

1. If you were giving advice to Paula, what might you say? 

Same as above

It's GBB because there is no actual violence. I imagine she feels vulnerable and unsure what to do. I would advise her to ask to her colleague and ask them to support her. I would then advise her to speak to her boss with a colleague there to witness the conversation and if nothing changes make a formal complaint.